It is what it is

For those that don't know...one of my best friends committed suicide on this day. I was so angry at her at the time that I never dealt with it directly. I refused to go to the funeral, I never said goodbye. I was just angry. Extremely angry. It's been a year now, and the closer it gets to the 16th the harder it's been for me to think about. Part of me will never forgive her for the pain she caused so many people and for the pain I saw in Taylor's eyes when I had to tell her....but the other part of me misses her terribly.