Dear Bladder,

I completely understand that you are just coming back from a 2 month vacation. And trust me, I'm happy to see you again. But seriously, enough with the mind-fuck. Make a decision. Are you going to work they way you are supposed? Work faster then I can keep up? Or just take a nap on the job?
If you don't get your shit together soon, we are going to have to sever all ties, and I'd hate to say good bye. But emotionally, I just can't take your bullshit any longer. You just do what you want, without any regard to who you are hurting. Quite frankly, I've had it up to my eyeballs today with you. You make me run back and forth to the bathroom every 3 minutes all morning, like I'm your little bitch and THEN you have the audacity to just QUIT. What gives??? Over exert yourself in two hours? Thank GOD I have the Costco size tube of surgical lube hanging around.
Consider this my 2 week notice.