Adventures with a Foley (3/10/09)

So let me start by asking if anyone would care to donate their healthy kidneys to my cause. Even just ONE would be awesome, thanks!!So I'm a recovering addict, duh. If you've read my blogs before, I'm sure you get that. I have 6 months clean on Friday. Not a sip of alcohol, not a single drug. But I'm pretty sure that my past use has officially come back to bite me in the ass. They say that opiates fuck up your kidneys and it sure seems as though I'm just about there now. I'm in drug court (yippie). I have to pee on command, I have to go to NA, I have to go through Intensive Outpatient...for the next year of my life. Normally I would say, Drug Court saved my life. But today I think it may be killing me. Here's the breakdown since Friday:Friday: Get called in to give a urine. Unable to pee at 7:30am. So I go to my group therapy and participate for the next 2 and 1/2 hours. By 9:30 my kidneys are in SO much pain I can barely breath. Group is over at 11:30 so I go BACK down to probation and was finally able to squeeze out just a few drops of urine. Very odd considering my bladder felt as though it was sticking out 5ft from my body. Saturday: Oddly enough, after having permission to spend the whole day with my daughter in the city, I get called in for a random urine AGAIN right in the middle of the day I had planned. I'm given an hour to try to pee, along with about 15 other people. So in reality, I had about 15mins. I can't pee and my probation officer is sitting there watching me telling me how I'm running out of time, blah blah blah. She finally takes back my cup and tells me that my time is up, "try to have a good weekend" Yeah thanks. So the punishment for not being able to produce urine when called is jail. HOORAY! Back again. So let's add some time in prison to the stress I'm under regarding my health. I was eventually able to pee a tiny bit at home but it never felt like my bladder had emptied, since Friday.Sunday: Stayed in bed all day, feeling like complete shit and unable to empty my bladder. The pain was getting intense. By Sunday night, I was ready to go to the ER. Tried to talk to my PO because they are going to give me meds in the hospital, that's inevitable and of course ANY meds need to be approved by Probation. She had the time to remind me that I didn't pee for her on Saturday, but not the time to talk to me regarding a health emergency. Needless to say, I'm an idiot and stayed home. I couldn't sleep, couldn't get comfortable and am surprised my bladder didn't fall out in the toilet from trying to pee all night.Monday: Called for a urine AGAIN. (Ok, let me point something out at this point. I'm in what's called Phase II of Drug Court. I should be called once MAYBE twice per week...this is now the 7th day in a row I've been called and i'm getting pissed) Put some drops in the cup and, doubled over, went to my Group Therapy. The counselor was concerned for my health and actually ended group early so that I could go to the emergency room. I text my PO and tell her that I am at the ER... no response. They pumped me full of fluids and had to cath me to get urine from my bladder. Even with the cath, they didn't even get a full ounce. Now, at this point, I haven't pee'd for about 14 hours. My bladder should have had WAY more in it. They do a culture, no UTI. Good. I get a catscan, no kidney stones. Good! They give me NON Narcotic meds for pain, great! I STILL CANT FUCKING PEE! So they send me home with a "Go to the urologist, we don't know what's causing this" Ummmm....wait, shouldn't they have done some MORE tests?? Maybe it's just me. So I go home, pretty much in the same condition I went it. Call my PO and leave a message. "I'm home from the ER, I have a script for antibiotics. Can I take them? They pumped me full of fluids. I'm unable to keep food down. What should I do? I'm going to have a diluted test if I have to give another urine in the immediate future" (BTW..Dilutes are a jail sanction also) NO RETURN CALL, nothing. I haven't taken my meds now.Tuesday (Today): GET CALLED FOR ANOTHER URINE!!! Ok, so I already know it's going to be diluted AND it's probably full of meds that I haven't had approved through probation from the hospital. At this point I just give up. The only POSITIVE thing I have right now is that I have absolutely NO desire to use....oddly enough. If anything, this stress should be a major trigger. It's one thing to stay clean and sober, but it's entirely different when you feel like you are dying to prove it. So my kidneys are still not functioning properly...neither is my bladder. I go to the urologist tomorrow and then to Court tomorrow night. Wish me luck because I could be facing a few days in prison. I'm sure the concrete and metal will feel WONDERFUL with the amount of pain I'm in. Sometimes this system really blows and now I'm getting pissed off all over again, so I'm signing out. Back to drawing, it's the only thing that keeps me sane right now. XOXO