Old Journals (4/4/09)

I've been pretty much holed up in my room for 2 days. I've made the obligatory trek for coffee, but that's about it. No...i'm not isolating. I can't move around too much, per the doctor. The internet and Rock Band tends to get a bit boring after a while so I went through some old books I had stacked in my closet and came across an old journal of mine... There are no dates written but considering the things I was saying, it was probably around the worst time of my life AND my addiction. There are entries about going to the ER with seizures, numerous times. TONS of entries about being beaten up, scared, not getting high enough anymore to escape. Cries for help, stuff that made NO sense at all..it could have been written in Mandarin for all I know. There was an entry about being told the next day that I passed out with a lit cigarette in my mouth, being slapped across the face by a friend because I was unconcious. Stuff I have NO recollection of. What a difference time, want and the will to survive can make. I'm single, drug free/alcohol free and on the right track mentally. No looking back, I never want to be that person again. And God help the man who ever puts his hands on me again, heh. I got some serious fight in me ;) I think I'll keep those journals packed away so I can reference them anytime I need to. 7 months is coming up quick...I can't WAIT! Holy crap! It's only 9 days away. I couldn't even imagine 48 hours clean a year ago....let alone over 180 days. I'm going....need to dance like Ed Grimley. I bid you Adieu <3